Please forgive my inconsistency. I posted the first
part of this series on July 23, 2014 expecting that I would be a faithful
writer, posting weekly. Actually, my goal is twice a week, which I have failed
at miserably— not intentionally mind you, and not even accidentally. The truth
falls more in line with what I have been struggling with all along; learning to
Just Be. I finally figured out
what Just Be
means to me. Quite honestly, it has taken the majority of my life to figure it
out, and I can say with absolute certainty that despite knowing what it means,
it will probably take the rest of my life to live it. I do not mean to sound
defeated; however, it is the truth, and instead of resisting the truth I am embracing it!
Before writing Part I of Just Be,
I was really struggling with my purpose as a writer. Questions ran through my
mind that stemmed mostly from my own insecurities. Does pouring out my heart on this blog really worth the time and effort
it requires? How does my life, and
the things I have experienced, learned, still learning, relate to yours? Do you
care? Does my voice matter? What if…?
You fill in the blank.
I once read that a writer, especially a creative
nonfiction writer—telling true stories with the creativity of fiction, needs to
be ok with who they are as a person, to include: their idiosyncrasies,
strengths, weaknesses, struggles, uncertainties, their questions, their failures, as well as their successes; at
least, something along those lines. In short, the requirements of this type of
writer—me, means a willingness to be transparent, self-forgiving, mature, and a
work in progress—meaning I do not have it all figured out.
Truth is, the real issue is me. You see, I have not been okay with me.
So how in the world could I be confident with who I am as a writer. Who I am
and who I was is not okay with most people—even now, as a Christian. In fact, I do
not seem to fit in anywhere. Now this truth isn’t a woe is me perspective nor is it a victim’s mentality-I-want-you-to-feel-sorry-for-me-kind-of-reality. As you continue to read this series on
discovering what it means to Just Be, you will understand exactly why I have
arrived at this conclusion, and my response to it.
should this matter to you? Because, maybe you are like me,
you do not quite fit in or you feel like an outsider. Because of that, you feel
as if something is wrong with you. Maybe, if you change you then you would fit in. What if you have it
all wrong and you are not supposed to fit in?
Come back for Part III of Just Be.
I promise the inconsistency will not continue. In fact, I need you and somewhere
deep inside you need me too. We may not fit in, but we are not meant to walk
alone either. Just Turn
and journey with me, as we—together, learn
how to Just Be.
Labels: inconsistency, Just Be, Just Turn The Page, me, purpose, Reflections