Round 2

It is what is…I don’t know who said that, but I really hate that saying. Honestly, I cannot live by that truth. However, I am not so naïve as to think that everything that comes my way I can change. I found that is not always the truth, but I can change how I navigate through my circumstances. I guess that is why I love the serenity prayer so much.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Too be honest, there are some days I would like to just beat those words with a hammer until they are all mangled and unreadable. I am not naturally violent so that is my lame attempt at violence--not that I feel the need to be violent or anything--but I think you catch my drift.
Why the pent up frustration?
Exactly six days ago, I had another surgery on my cervical spine. This time it was a little more complicated, but my cervical spine should become more stable as it heals. 
It seems as if all my attempts at trying to keep my spine strong were futile. Okay not completely, I did do all the right things, but my cervical spine was too weak. I cannot change the degenerative disease affecting my spine. Just in case you didn’t know, there is no magical workout or mystery diet that strengthens bones, and before I found out how bad my spine really is, I was running twenty-some miles a week, lifting weights and really enjoying my life, well most of it anyways.
I have prayed and prayed and prayed. It does not seem as if God is going to heal my spine…at least not supernaturally or miraculously. It is definitely not from a lack of faith either. I firmly believe GOD HEALS. I also believe there are times when God allows things to run its natural course. In so doing, it does not diminish who God is. Nor does it mean that I understand why. It just means God is Sovereign. He knows what is best. 
Still, I cannot quite settle for …it is what it is…
What can I do?
I cannot stop the degenerative disease in my spine. I can choose how I am going to live my life. For me, that means taking care of myself holistically. In fact, I am a firm believer that you cannot be healthy in one area of your life and sick in another. We are mind, body, and soul. We are connected. My physical health has a profound effect on my emotional, mental, and spiritual health. You can switch anyone of those areas around—the result is the same.
Quite honestly, I think it’s a tad-bit ridiculous to ask God for healing—even expect healing—then live however your want to live without repercussions. I am not saying that God has a requirement for healing, but reason mixed with faith tells me that if you want to be healthy then live and eat healthy. I am fully aware there is some who do all the right things and still end up with a horrible disease. I wish I could answer that one—I cannot. I am sorry. 
Nothing—I mean nothing— made sense about my mother’s horrible disease that led to her death. However, I saw a woman, who just accepted Christ a few years ago, cling to Christ for every breath— literally. She surrendered the outcome to Him, no matter what. In so doing, her husband of nearly twenty-years became a born again believer. Now that is something!
Quite honestly, 2014 has been a rough year for me. Highlights you will get to read about in my next post Reflections on 2014. A year full of hardships—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So much so, that I did not bounce back from my last surgery very well, and now I am trying to recover from a second one. 
However, reflecting always leads to pondering, which leads to change, at least for me. There are definite changes on the horizon; not New Year resolutions—they do not usually stick. All of which, I plan to share with you over the next couple of weeks. So check back with me for more details. In the meantime, drop me a line and let me know how you are doing. I would love to hear about your life or need to Just Turn the Page...

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Just Turn The Page: Round 2

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Round 2

It is what is…I don’t know who said that, but I really hate that saying. Honestly, I cannot live by that truth. However, I am not so naïve as to think that everything that comes my way I can change. I found that is not always the truth, but I can change how I navigate through my circumstances. I guess that is why I love the serenity prayer so much.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Too be honest, there are some days I would like to just beat those words with a hammer until they are all mangled and unreadable. I am not naturally violent so that is my lame attempt at violence--not that I feel the need to be violent or anything--but I think you catch my drift.
Why the pent up frustration?
Exactly six days ago, I had another surgery on my cervical spine. This time it was a little more complicated, but my cervical spine should become more stable as it heals. 
It seems as if all my attempts at trying to keep my spine strong were futile. Okay not completely, I did do all the right things, but my cervical spine was too weak. I cannot change the degenerative disease affecting my spine. Just in case you didn’t know, there is no magical workout or mystery diet that strengthens bones, and before I found out how bad my spine really is, I was running twenty-some miles a week, lifting weights and really enjoying my life, well most of it anyways.
I have prayed and prayed and prayed. It does not seem as if God is going to heal my spine…at least not supernaturally or miraculously. It is definitely not from a lack of faith either. I firmly believe GOD HEALS. I also believe there are times when God allows things to run its natural course. In so doing, it does not diminish who God is. Nor does it mean that I understand why. It just means God is Sovereign. He knows what is best. 
Still, I cannot quite settle for …it is what it is…
What can I do?
I cannot stop the degenerative disease in my spine. I can choose how I am going to live my life. For me, that means taking care of myself holistically. In fact, I am a firm believer that you cannot be healthy in one area of your life and sick in another. We are mind, body, and soul. We are connected. My physical health has a profound effect on my emotional, mental, and spiritual health. You can switch anyone of those areas around—the result is the same.
Quite honestly, I think it’s a tad-bit ridiculous to ask God for healing—even expect healing—then live however your want to live without repercussions. I am not saying that God has a requirement for healing, but reason mixed with faith tells me that if you want to be healthy then live and eat healthy. I am fully aware there is some who do all the right things and still end up with a horrible disease. I wish I could answer that one—I cannot. I am sorry. 
Nothing—I mean nothing— made sense about my mother’s horrible disease that led to her death. However, I saw a woman, who just accepted Christ a few years ago, cling to Christ for every breath— literally. She surrendered the outcome to Him, no matter what. In so doing, her husband of nearly twenty-years became a born again believer. Now that is something!
Quite honestly, 2014 has been a rough year for me. Highlights you will get to read about in my next post Reflections on 2014. A year full of hardships—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So much so, that I did not bounce back from my last surgery very well, and now I am trying to recover from a second one. 
However, reflecting always leads to pondering, which leads to change, at least for me. There are definite changes on the horizon; not New Year resolutions—they do not usually stick. All of which, I plan to share with you over the next couple of weeks. So check back with me for more details. In the meantime, drop me a line and let me know how you are doing. I would love to hear about your life or need to Just Turn the Page...

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2 Comments:

At December 16, 2014 at 5:38 PM , Blogger Holly Hanna said...

Beautifully put Samantha! You're always in my prayers!

 
At December 19, 2014 at 10:02 AM , Blogger Samantha Coon said...

My Sweet Cousin,

So glad you stopped by. I am waiting for you story! I hope you find the courage to write it someday, I know so many people's lives could relate to you:) Regardless, I love you and am praying for you.

 

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