When the deadness of bitter cold winters awakens to the
warmth and renewal of spring, I always feel a stirring in my heart. I feel as
if my heart comes to life with each new budding tree and blooming flower.
For me, the changing seasons represents seasons in my
life. Winter seems to be a time of pruning. A time of self-reflection, of
examining the things that are working or not working in my life. To look back
on the year’s events and see where I’ve grown or became stagnant. It’s also a time
for me to look at my goals: Am I on target or behind? What do I need to change?
Where do I keep on persevering and what do I let go? Winter speaks to me about
my spiritual life as well. Where am I growing in my relationship with Christ?
Or did I let the things of the world consume me? Did we become closer or
further apart? Or am I stuck in a place that I have not allowed Him in? Winter
provides the perfect solitude to explore my inner-self and to think about
changes, especially the constant need to find balance in my life.
Ironically, Spring Equinox means to bring into
balance. Quite literally, “it’s when the sun shines on the equator and the
length of day and night are nearly equal” (timeandday.com).
A perfect balance. I only wish life was perfectly balanced instead of a constant
juggle. Yet, I find myself in constant pursuit of achieving balance knowing it’s
really not possible. Still, spring reminds me of renewal and rebirth. A season in
time when the old passes away and the new emerges. Spring allows winter-time reflection to become action. Instead of a gradual easing into each new period, a
rush of the seasons promise arrives on stage before we are ready to shed winter’s
layers, only to change back a week later. Sometimes, like the changing seasons,
life reflects the rush and drawbacks of the new season. Mother Nature
cannot decide if she is ready to let go of winter’s hibernation for the liberating
freshness of spring or jump into the new without looking back.
I am like that. Most of the time, I jump in and figure
it out as I go. However, with age comes experience and experience wisdom—we
hope. Winter provided a lot of time for me to reflect on my life. A lot of time
to rest and grieve the past year’s events. To finally deal with things I put on
the shelf. To face changes in my life; the things I held onto not wanting to
let go. To face the changing seasons of my own life. I am reminded of the lyrics
from Stevie Nicks “Landslide”:
I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
‘Til the landslide brought it down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the season of my life?
Eventually, Mother Nature will
release her hold on winter and usher in Spring with joyous fervor. In fact, she
really hasn’t a choice. I do. However, I choose to release those things that keep
me from growing, changing, and becoming the best version of me. I don’t always
know how the plan will unfold, I just know not trying is a waste of the
grace I am given to live each day to the fullest. I may never achieve optimal
balance, but doing a little each day I will accomplish my goals and achieve my
dreams. Most importantly, I also know that by His grace and grace alone, I will
sail through the changing seasons of my life much like my kayaking adventures;
on calm rivers and raging ones.
Labels: grace, Just Turn The Page